Monthly Archives: September 2011

Some of you may refer to me as a health freak and I have to say I take that as a huge compliment! And I’m often asked if I ever get tired of living this way. My answer is “why would I EVER go back?” Let me list you my top 10 reason why I choose to live, eat and breath this way/

#10 Endorphins are the best drug on the planet and the human body dishes it out to you every time you exercise! Even if it’s just a 10-minute walk!! Imagine that!! You can get high EVERYDAY!! All you have to do is WALK!!!

#9 Living healthy makes me strong! Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Strength is empowerment and that is something nobody can ever take away from you.

#8 Eating healthy allows me to be in control of my health. It’s a great feeling knowing I am in charge of my body. Being completely attuned and synchronized helps me keep myself in heck. The moment I may start to feel a little bit iffy, I can pinpoint the issue within a 48 hour time frame.

#7 I’m an amazing juggler!! It’s true!! I manage my time extremely well. In fact, I’m much better when I have MORE on my plate. Being organized with my eating and workout schedule allows me to spend more time on other matters.

#6 NO STRESS!! I admit I’m awesome at “winging-it” but that’s because I can handle most anything that’s thrown at me.

#5 I’m FUNNER!!! Haha! I know that’s not a real word but it’s true, when I don’t exercise for more than 24 hours, I become a caged lion and when I meet people who are consistently moody, blue, combative, it’s because they do not put themselves first.

#4 So much more productive!! When I fuel my body and exercise first thing in the morning, I get so much done. I become this well-oiled machine that works on auto pilot. It’s awesome!

#3 Keep my blues away. Most of you know I battled with PPD with my pregnancies and was on medication for years. This for me is enough reason to turn my life around. I don’t ever want to become a burden to my family because of poor health choices.

#2 Walk the walk for my kids’ sake. Enough said.

#1 In the words of Billy Crystal as Nando, It’s not how you feel, it’s how. You. Look! And you, dahling, hmmmm, you look mahvelous! Absolutely mahvelous!”

Don’t just get fit, Get Josette!

He says golf is his therapy. Obviously golf does not solve anything when your problems still haunt you off the course.

He has not changed one bit. He cannot move on. He is incapable of it and I realize now, it’s not me. It’s not because of the pain I’ve cause him. It’s him. I spent my entire marriage trying to fix him. Make him happy and I couldn’t. He’s depressed, always has been and won’t get help.
He told me he took a management class at his job because he was having issues with coworkers….they don’t like him and they talk behind his back….he’s always had issues with coworkers, former teammates….people.
He told me he thought had he taken this course while we were still married that it would’ve solved our problems. The fact of the matter is he has problems that go beyond me, the divorce. He was ALWAYS depressed, I went as far as finding his birth parents in hopes this would help him find himself, find happiness. Of course it didn’t work but Lord knows I tried..
He needs help. Therapy. Lots of it! He was emotional unavailable with me and he is also with her. Of course, she thinks it’s bc he’s still in love with me. She does not know he’s been in a dark place his entire life. This goes beyond her, me, his adoptive parents, his birth parents, God…. He needs to put the work in and dig deep in his soul. It’s not easy but it is so worth it.
He says golf is his therapy but it’s really only a 4-hour band-aid.

As we walked away he said, “You have no idea the amount of pain you have caused me. You’ll never know.”
I said, “And I was emotionally abandoned while I was married to you and THAT hurt. But I am now so very happy. I have found my purpose in life and I’m in a very loving and nurturing relationship.
His answer “But what about me? I haven’t been able to adjust to the financial changes. I had to borrow money to buy this house.” LOL!!!
He still doesn’t get it. He never will as long as he doesn’t put the work in.
Sad, but I now know I couldn’t fix him. No one can. I couldn’t make him happy no matter what I did.
At least one of is now but even I had a hard time accepting that.
In his eyes he feels we should’ve stayed married even if we were miserable. I spent years believing I didn’t deserved to be happy if he wasn’t either.
Truth is, he never will be happy. He is incapable of being happy for me. And he doesn’t love himself either.

I hope his relationship with the children will improve now that we are on speaking terms and hopefully we can set a better example to the children.
Ending the marriage doesn’t make me a horrible person. I know this now.
I love myself and I deserve to be happy. I have set myself free. Finally.

I’m going to speak to my children’s father in just about an hour. Our relationship since our divorce has been hardly amicable to say the least.
But something came over me recently…the need to find peace with him, for my children’s sake.
How could I set a good example in every other aspect of my life yet harbor so much resentment here??? What a complete hypocrisy! So much poison!!
The reason this hit me so hard, so suddenly is because over the weekend we celebrated my boyfriend’s daughter’s 7th birthday. It was held at his home and hosted by he and his ex-wife who are very amicable. His parents who are divorced and remarried were there and they too are extremely amicable.
This caught my four children off guard, to see divorced couples getting along so well, celebrating birthdays together and it’s interesting how each one has said something to me about it in their own way. Made me realize the importance it is to put my anger aside for their sake and make amends with him…or at least try to.

So I’m off to extend an olive branch….just hope it is well received on the other end. Really don’t know what to expect but what I do know is no matter how happy I am in my other relationship, with my children, friends and in my career, this one is keeping me from finding my truest peace. And after all the pain and suffering Ive been through, I deserve peace. So do my kids. And he does too.
Wish me luck!